when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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