seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
