Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole

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(517): View more from Michigan

she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK

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(802): View more from Vermont

you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer

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(949): View more from California

I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall

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(801): View more from Utah

Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.

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(207): View more from Maine

I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.

(1-207): View more from Maine

Are you high?

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