Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
then he tried to convert me to islam
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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