Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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