There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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