So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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