your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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