Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize