I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
