let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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