But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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