Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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