im having a threesome with these popsicles
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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