what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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