Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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