I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
