Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
