I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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