He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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