im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize