Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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