I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Oh god it's open bar.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
