yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
