Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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