Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
