Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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