then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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