Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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