keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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