Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
