i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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