was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
