yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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