I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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