Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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