then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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