At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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