i think my mom watched the whole time
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
