No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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