i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
