careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
