Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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