eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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