omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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