I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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