You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
