if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize