What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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