Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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