Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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