Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
