I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
