found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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