so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
