He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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