FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
