I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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